fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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