Your mouth is God's brothel.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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