i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
