I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
