Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
