3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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