Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
