Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
