Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize