just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
