If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
