Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
