this just has baby written all over it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
