my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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