You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
the raccoons are back...
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