Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
