forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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