Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize