I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
