Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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