Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
