I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
