Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
