Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize