Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
