Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
