she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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