I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
