I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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