Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
