Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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