spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
YAS. BRING CRAB.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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