Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize