He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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