We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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