Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
