I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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