did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
