i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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