I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
