note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
