Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
