I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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