didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
