i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I did not marry a roomba.
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