He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
