This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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