Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
