I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
