Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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