Where is the hickey?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
