my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
