I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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