i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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