I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
