I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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