I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
