Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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