This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
