First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
