Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We had sex on a dog bed..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how drunk are you?
Several
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
