Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
