apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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