im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
