I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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