No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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