Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize