grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my shit smells like andre
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
tell me about the eggs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
