i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
