i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if i died would you start the facebook group?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
