OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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