Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You can't just leave with hair like that
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
